“I don’t WANT to huff and puff. I NEED to huff and puff!”
As people, we are hilarious because we love to live in delusion. Listen, I am all for positive thinking, but not at the expense of ignoring our negative thinking and emotion.
We hear it often:
Build on yourself; Be more optimistic; Work on your greetings and smiles; Develop your openness; Be better, etc…
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK!
It is in fact great advice, and advice I fully try to commit to in myself and others. However, I feel that we are easily clouded by such advice.
Particularly, we can find ourselves overly fixated on optimism and positivity in a way that keeps us seeking feeling good all of the time.
This creates an emotional disconnect in relation to any adverse feeling. Especially when we don’t know what to thoughtfully do with, or how to process our negative thinking and emotions in the first place.
YES, I ALSO AGREE:
“It is a muscle; Destroy your self-doubt; Destroy your fears; Destroy these emotions for the sake of liberating yourself from them.”
I get it. But, we must still experience, and fully feel the emotions that plague us.
Acknowledge it, feel the fear, sadness, hurt, pain, and whatever the hell else.
We want to feel good, for the reason being that it feels good; Okay Copernicus!
But ironically enough, succeeding these emotions comes from just that, RECOGNITION.
The ability to recognize destructive patterns, while also allowing their presence, and fully feeling to experience them.
Recognizing Negative Thinking.
Yes, yes it’s true:
I don’t want to huff and puff. But, I need to huff and puff!
The point being again, that if we don’t allow our body to experience and express itself negatively, all of the energy from our negative thinking wont go anywhere at all.
It will go nowhere. Nowhere meaning that it will go to places that we don’t want it to go.
Nowhere meaning, that it will stay trapped and emotionally bound within the structures and tissues of the body, which can manifest itself in different, and unpleasant ways from there on out.
Here, take a look at this video below:
Though most probably a re-enactment, and a tad corny for my personal liking, the message to take away is this:
The stuttering and stammering is a result of blocking out, or suppressing his initial negative emotions. And only until they are addressed, and diffused years later, can he finally overcome the barriers of his own torment.
Surely, this is likely an extreme example, but the trick is to positively empower ourselves through our negative thinking and emotions.
What the F**k does that Even mean?!
It means feeling your shit out!
All of it too. All of the nitty-gritty, shitty feeling bullshit! You know, all that painful shit. Feel the f**k out of it! Feel it in flow with your energy, and then diffuse it in a positive and constructive manner.
But, to be more polite in three words, or less:
Acknowledge, Accept, Replace.
Negative Thinking Behind closed doors
Personally speaking, I can get so bound up and angry for any whichever reason. And yes, sometimes these emotions become overwhelming enough where I emotionally feel the need to physically lash out, or slap the first person to look at me funny!
“What the f**k are you looking at asshole?”
Look, life is all over the place sometimes, and emotional moments like that are of often unclear, and their reasons are unbeknownst.
There is no sense to pretend that we feel a certain way when we don’t feel that way at all.
So if our experience is negative, we must allow ourselves to express it.
Thankfully, I can recognize that these tensions exist within myself and are often secondary to what I need to address. These emotions are reacting to something other, in which case we must identify the source, or at best, we must try to.
In saying that, I also need to diffuse them through myself. And though I may feel the urge to lash out and slap someone, the best solution is to avoid taking any action in slapping that random stranger who happened to stare into my insecurities.
That will only snowball into bigger problems, and potentially, a lifetime of regret.
So what is the trick here?
Doing nothing won’t help you much either. We still need to address that emotional need to express ourselves physically as a result of the moment.
We diffuse the emotion by constructively diffusing it.
In this case, swing a damn bat, or a prop of some sort! PHYSICALLY live out your frustrations by swinging it wildly through the air!
I know, it sounds crazy and weird, right?
“That’s your solution? Swing a damn bat?!”
We are all crazy weird, and we all need to express that side of ourselves openly, but constructively.
A tamer example IN JUDGING OTHERS.
Most of us have been taught, or heard with repetition:
“YOU BE NICE, YOU HEAR?!”
“What goes around, comes around!”
“Be grateful to yourself and others!”
Again, it is great advice, and I purposely try to practice selflessness often. However, there are days where someone may happen to stumble into my life where everything about this person completely repulses me.
Growing up with the “You be nice!” ideology, I actively try to find good qualities in this person, or humble down their “unlikable” qualities.
But in trying to treat them in kind, there is so much more tension than just accepting the initial emotional response, and rolling with the fact that I kind of hate everything about them.
Look man, I hate your f**king face, and your stupid mannerisms! Get the f**k away from me, you stupid douche asshole!
When I do happen to recognize these emotions, I still try to take the same “baseball bat” approach.
"Littermature Post: "Without Balls..." "Littermature Post: "Duking The Demon..." Where I noticed the value of said "Baseball Bat approach"! Or "F*ck Mindfullness: Fake it till you make it!..." How mindfulness sometimes defeat itself.
Constructive diffusion is key To Negative Thinking!
So I try to practice saying what I really feel like saying, I just do so in my own head.
“I thought this was a tame example? That just sounds crazier, twisted, and more dysfunctional.”
Yeah, it’s crazy and weird, and I am dysfunctional as f**k! But again, we all have our own unique dysfunctions.
So go ahead and try it for yourself. It might actually make you happier by bringing a smile or chuckle to your face, in which case you are now experiencing a moment of happiness.
You see how that works? The offending qualities may now be somehow more tolerable.
It is a form of constructive diffusion, and can take you from a firm feeling of:
“You sh**y bastard! You f**k!”
To a mere:
“Bro, you suck.”
I am no master at diffusing my emotions, and this isn’t a cure-all to your emotional pitfalls. But, it is a practice.
Go on, get creative in your own practice to thwart the creative bullshit your mind is busy conjuring up trying to thwart your happiness.
Practice cleaning out the gunk and sh*t from your soul!
Practice it often, let yourself feel your own sh*t, and feel it fully.
Believe it or not, acknowledging and expressing your own negative thinking is therapeutic in this way. It is a way to purge our own bullsh*t.
The power behind this negativity, is learning how to sort through your emotions when you are feeling down, this way you can relish on the high of feeling high when the cycle is making its way around again.
In practicing the optimistic diffusion, through the pessimism and gloom, and never suppressing it,