For the sake of this post, and how I am feeling in this particular moment, I will say it and spell it out again…
Don’t get me wrong– I am all for mindfulness
I practice mindfulness, awareness, and meditation daily. I also try to incorporate it into every little facet of my being in order to capture more of the moment.
Well What’s your f*king problem then?
My issue is that sometimes, when we set the intention to be mindful in our experiences–things can end up getting lost in their own translation.
In other words, labelling our actions as “mindful” can limit our experience in observing things the way that we intend to experience them.
I have talked about labels before:
But to spell it out mindfully,
“Once you label me, you negate me”
As soon as we call it something, it is limited to nothing more than that. This is true to experience as well.
As soon as we intend to be mindful in our experiences, we limit our experience to whatever preconceptions we have of a mindful experience.
Some of MY OWN LIMITING preconceived attachments to mindfulness: -Road to Happiness -Zen -Slow controlled breathing -Easy, neutral state .... There is more to experiencing the moment than this, but can you see how the ego's intentions can potentially trap you with an inhibited experience?
A crude labelling example:
If we go out to an event and we suddenly start to have a negative experience– Let’s call this “a shi*t time”—
we limit ourselves to nothing more BUT a sh*t time. We can try to be happy about it– but it’s still going to be a sh*t time.
In walking away from the event we will say:
“today was a sh*t time”
And the next day at the water cooler we will say:
“Yesterday was such a sh*tty time.”
And later on down your life line, you will say:
“I went to that event once– It was sh…” –You get the point!
Mindfulness is beautiful:
Conceptually speaking, mindfulness can completely immerse us in our moments.
But sometimes, things get skewed because our practice and urges to be more mindful can actually take away from the experience itself.
We can easily become TOO self-aware, to the point where we start to try to control our perception of things in the moment– When the whole basis of mindfulness is surrendering to that moment.
The ego steps in and tries to pre-conceptually contribute to the experience in how the ego wants things to turn out. This of course defeats the original intentions of mindfulness, in dissolving the ego, and surrendering to the moment.
This usually boils down to why we choose to practice mindfulness.
Someone who experiences a lot of negative emotions may finds themselves depressed often. Such a person may then turn to mindfulness training in hopes of becoming happier– Which is great, with some conditions.
Take that crude example again, you remember–right?
That sh*tty time :
We receive negative feedback during our event, i.e. We're at a restaurant, the waitress accidentally dropped a meal on our lap, grr!; We're at a festival, and there is too many people here-- large crowds make us uneasy; We're at a bar, and the music playing isn't up our alley; We're having breakfast in a cafeteria, and someone just pissed in our corn flakes; [insert other whatever statement here] etc...
The issue can come in play when we experience this negatively and try to change our experience to suit our goal…
[Insert Sh*tty Experience Here]:
“This is a sh*t time”
“This is a sh*t time– But…
I’m going to paint this smile on my face,
Because I just want to have a great time, and be happy!”
In this instance, we steadily assume a controlling aspect over our experience in order to achieve a result for happiness.
As we try to bring an awareness or focus onto a more “positive” light, we neglect the negative. And in this example, embracing the negativity is generally the heart of the moment.
If it’s sh*t, LET IT BE sh*t!
Ultimately, our INTENDED practice can hang us up. So it is actually better practice to simply bring awareness to recognizing a moment for what it is– Keep rolling with that sh*tty time!
Even if it means living in it all day and night. Live in that sh*t until it starts to change on its own. And if it doesn’t, keep trying new things until it does.
We can’t shy away, or avoid our negative emotions in hopes of instantly transforming them into positive ones.
The human experience means balance, whether it’s basking in the beautiful sun for hours or rolling around in the sh*t for a few days.