IN CONTINUATION FROM: if you can push, you can pull– TALES FROM THE WALK BEHIND ME, NO.7
As conflicted of an individual as I am, I find that I am still headstrong.
I attribute this to my innate stubbornness–It’s a Capricorn thing, At least that’s what my mom
always used to say still says.
I imagine that I am not alone in my emotions as I find that my mental fortitude is spinning itself a bit more than usual. Perhaps it’s the “new country, no job” financial hurdle that I am so used to experiencing.
Yes that’s exactly what it is, however, the only difference is that things are looking very slim given the circumstances. All these mandatory impositions that keep presenting themselves in ways that prolong them. I admit, it’s all very persistent, highly disciplined, and organized— Something to learn from for my own execution.
It is easy to feel powerless when things seem too big to grasp. Though, what I feel does work in my favor is that I don’t really care too much about the circumstances that present themselves anyway. I may feel overwhelmed by them just like anyone else, I am also quick to realize that even the worst case scenario can be favorable if you look at it that way– lost at sea with no land in sight, you still have a choice in which direction to swim.
Well take what you will out of this little vented moment, but one thing is becoming intuitively clearer by the day– that things have only just started to swing in this free-for all of transition in the world.
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”Friedrich Nietzsche
There’s a fight coming, but, we must not lose ourselves in the process.
Let’s move on!
The following is Number 8 of 14 in the series of blog posts called “Tales From The Walk Behind Me”.
If you’re new to these, it is a series of originally journaled entries through a few of my days —events, experiences, thoughts— along the Camino De Santiago.
If you missed part one, here it is — Click Me!
This is my standard cut and paste disclaimer from the tale before, I will give you the bit of warning because it might not be what you expect– my thoughts can be ugly because I’m a weirdo.
Furthermore, the content will vary, and the timelines will be all over the place because my mind loves a wild goose chase.
You also may question my own benevolence as a human being.
EXPERIENCE IS A STATE OF MIND, Here is no. 8…
EN ROUTE CAMINO NORTE – Tapia de Casariego, asturias. SPAIN.
Thursday September 19, 2019.
Life is a walk– If you can walk to the end of your days and stand there, only to look back to see how many times you’ve crawled and thought “Man, how am I going to get up and stand over top of this one?”G. Kourtesiotis, 2019
Well, I am tired as fuck again.
I just pumped out 200 pushups and crushed a Milka bar. Earlier on I ate a whole beef empanada and crushed about 6 medium chocolate croissants.
I can’t buy those anymore, I really should stop. But let me get this off of my chest first:
I love pastry, and coffee, and ice cream, I want to eat it everyday!
Wait, as true as that statement is, that wasn’t it.
What I really wanted to express is that I am over walking, but the lesson that finds/motivates me today –and most probably tomorrow– is that I need to practice the development of my own consistency in finishing what I started.
Finish, Finish, Finish!
There have been so many times in my life that I undertook promises or projects that I have yet to finish. I’ve always started strong with the best intentions, yet I always flattened out, or fizzled away from them. So if you’re here to win the game, then you’re going to have to practice how you play!
Well-Well motherfucker, today is judgement day!
The lesson is to be very meticulous with your words/vows to yourself and to others –If you speak it, you better back it up and follow through!
As for myself, I vow to finish the projects that I embark myself on from this point forward. Even more so, I also vow to finish the projects that I have abandoned, or left incomplete.
Whoa, whoa, whoa— there is a small catch for the latter. because it still has to make sense for me in my life.
It’s not an excuse to make for myself, rather, it has to be both relevant, and genuine. Wherever I place and placed my words in the past, they still have to facilitate my vision and well being now, and for my future.
As motivated as I am to follow through my projects, they still have to make sense and serve me.
Time is precious, and the last thing I want to do is to do something with no need for it.
I have to follow through my goals with the same manner that I follow through one foot after the other on this walk because “doing shit” and “finishing” means taking the first step until you take your last step right through all the shit in between them.
For The Love Of My Future!