IN CONTINUATION FROM: FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED. TALES FROM THE WALK BEHIND ME, NO.8
Hindsight is a funny thing
We can look back on our experiences to say, “Ha, I knew it!” or “Dang, I shouldn’t have done that!” or “Good thing I did that!”
In whatever way my own personal reflection of the past comes to me these days, I am always taken aback by where I am in my moments in the unfolding of my life. I feel that has been consistent with perspective over the years in that I am blown away by my own story.
Sorry, I don’t mean to come off in a showboating manner, but I genuinely love life that much… The thing is, I am not doing anything particularly crazy or totally unimaginable. I am simply living day by day in my own personal routines of fulfillment and I love every minute of it.
I’m on such a high all the time, and I feel so grateful to have that experience.
No, I don’t take drugs– Sure, I have smoked marijuana a few times, and I do enjoy a crisp cold pint on hot summer days. But my drug is grace.
I am grateful to have the experiences and mental perspectives that brought me here, more importantly, the capacity for me to recognize it.
I get down sometimes, but even the bottom has element of enjoyment to it, and that is the reason why I typically like to hold the viewpoint that life is still good, even when it isn’t.
We’re in for it.
I don’t know what “IT” is just yet, and I can’t say I have met many people that do. But whatever the future holds for us as individuals is still going to be marvelous— depending on how we choose to look at it.
In the moment of now, I count the blessings I have to experience and for my experiences of the past… I look to my own predictions of the future and relish in whatever moment I find myself in currently as I weigh the potential of impermanence to set itself in.
A common example that is becoming increasingly more extravagant is the luxury of driving as an experience in itself. Beautiful country side panoramas on my way to work in the morning with whatever genre of music I spotted up onto the radio. Beautiful, life is good, and I will remember the feelings of these moments sometime from now when the choice to seek out that experience eludes me alltogether.
The beauty in life is made with life’s simplest pleasures… And though the automobile is fundamentally complex, it is simple in the sense that it is a commonality of modern life.
Life is too short to bicker and bitch about it. But if you choose to do so, the least you can do is to learn to enjoy it.
Let’s move on!
The following is Number 9 of 14 in the series of blog posts called “Tales From The Walk Behind Me”.
If you’re new to these, it is a series of originally journaled entries through a few of my days —events, experiences, thoughts— along the Camino De Santiago.
If you missed part one, here it is — Click Me!
This is my standard cut and paste disclaimer from the tale before, I will give you the bit of warning because it might not be what you expect– my thoughts can be ugly because I’m a weirdo.
Furthermore, the content will vary, and the timelines will be all over the place because my mind loves a wild goose chase.
You also may question my own benevolence as a human being.
EXPERIENCE IS A STATE OF MIND, Here is no. 9…
EN ROUTE CAMINO NORTE – vilalba, galicia. spain.
Saturday September 21, 2019.
Well here I am, a few nights eve to Santiago.
I am pondering finishing this walk and fantasizing over raking in my next experiences.
There have been plenty of ups, and plenty of downs but I am truly excited to conclude this endeavor. In hindsight, was this the right move for me in the moment to undertake? Nope, probably not –But yes it was all in the same!
I feel like I need a regimented push towards routine again as I feel more settled than I used to. “Unsettled Spirit” my dad used to say, but perhaps what I am feeling now is over the whole backpacking bit, or van life, or nomadism, or whatever phase you want to call it.
Over the last year, I feel that what I enjoyed most about Whistler was a routine alongside a single place to return to every night– as opposed to thru-hiking my way to the next town. Thinking about it, perhaps what I miss most is the need for a home.
Funny enough, I now have my Jeep to look forward to moving into…
But what the hell does that mean, and where does it leave me? Well, I need to save some money for one.
I don’t want to have my Jeep and pay rent on top of it, because technically as I see it, I am already paying rent on my Jeep!
Mostly, but if the backroads job rolls through, then what? What is to happen to Big Blue Beatrice?–Is she to sit rusting where she is in that storage lot in Squamish? Poor girl! My back hurts thinking about her wheels seizing up again.
Ah, so many ideas play on in my mind– one to have my Jeep and another to not have it, to be free of debt, to walk in Greece, to run trail races, to workout like a mother fucker, to have a family and kids!
All of these play on in my head.
But where do I settle, and to which do I act on? Perhaps on all!
Then where to start?
Notebooks, that’s where! –The mobile income to build your business homie!
Fitness, that’s what’s next! –Get physical and stay in shape for something, you need a mission homie!
Family, work on building one! –Get a good girl who’s on the same page in life.
Stable home? A getaway safehouse? Invest in a plot? –But where though… Hmm, come back to this one homie.
Either way, just do it.