“I’m Lost!”, Chasing uncertainty, Breathing through insecurity, and Chasing Down the Road Less Travelled

I’ll be the first to say it, “I’m Lost!”

Choosing the road less travelled comes many uncertainties, and without certainty, it’s common to feel lost in that path.

Lost and Found

I am lost in a world of madness, a non-sensical world, one that is aimless, and unclear on what work needs to be done to fulfill whatever my mission is.

In other words, I am trying to find genuine meaning in my life.

“I Am Lost!”

Although I’ll be the first to admit that to myself, it bites down on quite the nerve if someone other than me accused me of it.

Insecurities of the ego, surely.

But perhaps it is the perceived implication behind it that hits from totally different level once stated from the outside.

You’re Lost!” they say.

Well what are you, have you found yourself then?! Do you even know what you are doing, and are you even aware as to why you act the way you do? What drives you in light of your life certainty.

More importantly, is what you do truly genuine?

Step Down From Your High Chair.

It bothers me how people can come down on the chosen path of others, especially when such socially disoriented scrutiny stems from a highly fixed, and superficial place.

The typical context of the socially fixed perception:

We are deemed to be lost when we shun the beat of the social drum in which we came from, and have not yet produced a result for ourselves.

Once again, I’m lost, and like many others like me, I am lost for choosing to do things in alternative fashion.

When other’s can’t identify with the path you have chosen, it is easy to feel disdain for it. People are quick to shove off what they don’t understand, or what is simply not the norm.

My biggest fear in the norm is becoming complacent in the normal path, only to watch your time slip your fingers meaninglessly.

We can spend a lifetime, not thinking for ourselves.

It is funny to me, to think how so many people can spend a lifetime avoiding complicated thinking for themselves, or desperately try to avoid the scariness associated with their own immeasurable search for meaning.

I feel it is far easier to shy away into the mold, to fill one’s time with meaningless distractions, than to do the dirty work for yourself.

The Road Well-Travelled

The road well-travelled, at least where I grew up:
birth-> school-> more school-> high paying job-> marriage/kids-> retire in everlasting happiness...

Life is over before it even started, turn your brain off.

For many, a retirement plan is an endless routine of avoidance and distraction. However, financial freedom fast-tracks the eventual thinking process if they happen to fulfill their financial, or material needs before retiring. People who aren’t pressed to make ends meet have more time, potentially, to think about their life meaning.

In any case, it is easy to look for distractions in avoiding the complicated thoughts rampantly running in our head.

I know, I Know, “Live in The Moment.”

Well, I do. Or rather, I try to. Awareness is key after all, and the intention is to practice this often.

As firmly as I believe the effortless flow behind such intentions, we can’t avoid the contradiction we find ourselves in.

For myself, living in the moment means ignoring the automated pulse of society. Checking out at the end of the working day, it’s not about strolling over to your local pub to pig out on beer and wings. The choice to zombieout in front of 5 giant tv’s pumping out different sports highlights, over-jargoned shows, and biased/recycled news clippings screams nothing more than absent-minded consumerism.

Many people live and breathe the lifestyle of it, and truthfully, it’s not a miserable time. On the contrary, it can be quite delightful. Heck, I am also more than guilty of checking out, or indulging in it myself.

Sure, the occasional indulgence is alright, but to make a lifestyle of it? Well, as a big distraction that is ultimately unfulfilling, it’s no way to live.

At least that’s how I feel about it for my life. Likewise, I find it is too easy to get pulled back into a distracted lifestyle routine. As a living, and breathing entity, society produces more than enough noise that is loud enough to drown out our internal voice.

No wonder all that confusion.

“I’m Lost!” So what is all the noise distracting me from?


Since we are discussing meaning, I want to make it clear how subjective this concept is. It is the reason why I continue to take this “Me-Monster” position. My life, Me, Mine, Myself, and I!


That’s the beauty behind personal meaning, it is unique to individual perspectives in our own favored tastes, flavors, and likings.

The stance to take is to highlight the best interest in my own life. I can bitch and moan about how dreadful the alternative is, but it isn’t meant to persuade anyone to take it on as lifestyle truth. Rather, you may come to identify with, or perhaps understand the alternatives to your own life better, and to those around you.

For me, a meaningful life is clarified by listening to my internal voice, not the voice of society.

This means taking in what society tells us is right, or wrong and challenging it to dig out our truth.

It is learning to question what society tells us is both possible and testing out our own method of inquiry to uncover life’s barriers, or limitations for ourselves.

Ultimately, it’s about challenging what we are implied to follow and how we are implied to live, because If we can’t find a reasonable answer to explain our choices of behavior, what’s the point in them?

In this respect, a strict personal evaluation to question our path will naturally help us uncover life’s meaning better.

An interesting look At A Virtual World

All that we see in our modern world can be looked at as art. Society itself is also a piece of art in the sense that it has been created, and created by man.

It is real, because we can see its infrastructures, it exists because we can feel it, and that we can live it.

However, it is possible that all of it is really just another directed perception. Taking this tangent, as a constructed piece of interactive art, society is comparable to some large-scale attempt in creating a virtual reality.

1. the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, **(enough said here)**
typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works
to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.
"the art of the Renaissance"

2. the various branches of creative activity **(here as well),
such as painting, music, literature, and dance.
"the visual arts"
**Thanks Google

Virtual reality (VR) isn’t really real, but rather, it is an impression on the senses that makes us believe the experience.

As real as VR may seem in our experience, we don’t perceive it as truth when we can physically feel, see, or witness the apparatus that we have created. Being able to peak in behind the scenes allows us to experience this as a created form of reality. When we are physically outside of the device looking in, we can see the wiring.

Well, at least that’s the current standpoint. **Ahem** [cue TOTAL RECALL VHS]

On the other hand, society is the apparatus that we have created, but, we are blind to the wiring, we are oblivious to the feel of the apparatus itself, because we are not on the outside looking in. On the contrary, we are very much inside, and looking out.

In this sense, it is hard to look at things within the manner of our own creation, because it has taken on a life of its own to direct the simulated experience.

Yes, it is quite the tangent, and easily an interesting piece to tackle on its own.

But Whoa, back up bro! What Are You Getting At?

Going against the grain feeling like “I’m lost” can set you up for societal scrutiny. Many can look down their nose at you in accusation, allotting their way to yours. This modern life of ours that has been fabricated does not assume the only way forward, but rather, it is very much just another perception on how to spend a lifetime.

Looking into the grand scheme of things, no one really knows what they are doing. Even those leading the way forward, driving this beast, only have ideas. Likewise, as transient beings in a temporary plane of existence, a meaningful life is highly subjective as the idea we craft for ourselves.

All the more reason to go against the grain where it makes sense to.

A Personal Kerfuffle

My personal conflict stems from the headlong battle between the influential standardized experience, and the effort to drown out the noise of society, persisting to keep to my internal voice.

Society is loud, and often obnoxious, making it difficult to pinpoint your personal calling. What is most important is learning to heed the instinctual nature of our gut, as it is the most valuable tool in recognizing our personal evolution towards a meaningful life.

I apologize for being a complete cynical ass in all of this, but I can’t shake my feelings:

For the many people to dictate their experience on others who claim to have found the way of life, may have only really found society, as it is loud enough to keep them occupied in delusion. What’s yours is yours, including your experience and perceptions.

Regarding those who have found the way of life in society, it is for them to truly distinguish an authenticity behind the meaning.

**User experience may vary**

Personally, I would rather avoid the distraction of the toys and material that we have created for ourselves.

Not all of it, just the senseless things.

And what is senseless, well that’s the challenge, to continuously scrutinize myself with what is necessary and what is not within the scope of my lifestyle vision.

It means openly facing the difficult questions inside for the sake of learning, and growing in ourselves, in our nature, and in our faith. Tap into our inner voice to grow ourselves fully, without being swallowed up by the voice of society.

Look beyond the endless chatter of opinion to produce a lifestyle that is intrinsically produced, not extrinsically fabricated.

Step away from the game if you don’t want to play!


If you can’t beat them, join them!

With confusion,


Self Help Journaling

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