The following is a brief example on being human– at least in the most random sense of a moment.
We all experience a whole assortment of thoughts, or collections as we go about our days. Afterall, we are what we think.
To set the scene:
I was about two hours into some computer work at Starbucks. With a good caffeine boost– my own delirium got the best of me.
Behold, Another human! :
Frantic, unorganized, and delirious in thought.
“Well, what the f**k do I have to write about today?
I’ve been meaning to write for the last few weeks, really.
But meaning to write, and actually writing is two very different things.
One stands aloof in thought, the other is taking specific action.
Well Gee-Golly, Thanks Captain Obvious! –Yes, you’re welcome.
Life today– and over the last few days/weeks/month — has me in a particularly funny mood. Maybe it’s because I had my hair cut– Yes, no more pony tail– there, feed your imagination.
But I only cut it this week, and I have been feeling funny long before that. Maybe it’s something else than– Either way, I can’t tell.
I am feeling slightly lost in my feelings, as I can’t pinpoint them.
But, I do know why I am out of touch with them– at least for today— Because, I am freaking exhausted man!
Whoa Nelly! Even the crazed twitching of my fingers typing out characters on this keyboard are setting me a s t r a y . . .
Whoa baby whoa!— What is going on here?
Potentially, it could be this crazed Starbucksian music that is playing. An erratic trumpeto-feel of some mock-jazz… I just made that shit up– it’s just “JAZZ” man.
But either way, I am starting to build an awareness into this thought, and how INSANE it may sound– Regardless, it is entertaining me as I am writing nonetheless.
BUT, — Oh No! Another ‘but”! — it is interesting to note on how this musical influence IS— in fact! — influencing my current state. And although not typically the musical liking for me, it has seemed to possess my fingers from beyond the sweet beat-nick jazz of its day. — But it’s done now.
The mood has shifted— It has shifted into something: -?-mysterious-?- as I can’t help but smirk in the projection of this sentence– Sh*t, more trumpet!
In almost a daze, I feel as if I am awakening. I feel found again! — Is this all that was confusing my emotions?
I couldn’t understand how I felt, but this perplexingly sweet jazz music has forced me into cultivating this even more perplexingly sweet documentation.
“Whoa baby whoa!”– Are the lyrics that come to mind in this new rOLlerCoASteR of a song that has erupted since “f**k, more trumpet”— or was it “sh*t?”— F**k it, it’s “f**k” now!
… And, the Starbucksian barista has just informed me that I am being kicked out… of course in a very polite “Excuse me sir, but we are closing in 5 minutes!” manner.
NEVERTHELESS! What I heard was:
“Hey man! We put this f**king jazz on to subliminally tell you that it’s time to hurry up, and press that coffee to your face! And… that you can get the f**k out now…” —
— Oh My! — it shut off perfectly in the timing of the last sentence– they must be reading my thoughts! — Quick! to the Batmobile!
Either way, this has served its purpose. As I feel somewhat… something else now. Regardless, it’s my cue to leave– I don’t want to piss off the barista baby!
For the record,
—what f**king record?…The expressionless one!–
Half of these ‘baby!’ references are said through Austin Power’s voice… at least in my head they are– and it is totally unintentional.
The mind is hilariously funny, scary, random, alive, and dead, all in the same.
Peace [Expletive Deleted] “
Umm… Take it as you will?
Self Help Journaling (pdf/mp3)
Make It Stick, Write It Down. A Journaled Philosophy. Ebook/Audiobook