Hello old friend,
it has been so long, I don’t know where to begin.
I remember when we met– young and naive — together we trodden around, hoping to never grow old.
Our problems were minimal, only the day at hand, and what was to become of it was our only real concern.
Friend’s forged brothers.
Years later, after so many smiles and moments of joy, but dependent on our parents plans, we had to pave way for alternate routes.
By now, our problems had become more– but not by much. We vowed against the distance that we would maintain the brotherly connection– swore that we would still be best friends.
As we drifted further into adulthood, time prevailed.
There have been many times where I wanted to reach out, or to make arrangements to catch up on old times. But, our problems had now blossomed further.
Our present day has developed new relationships, different attitudes, different perspectives. This bound us to our own present place, and we could not step away from it to rebuild a past.
Technological advancement has made it easier to maintain friendships, but so much time has passed. The closeness and familiarity of the past has slowly transformed itself into the obscurity of the fast paced future.
Living day by day, our paths were now too different. Time has made us, moulded us into different people– two different men.
Despite all the difference, I still feel the love of two brothers at heart.
But, all is meaningless now. And as I wasn’t paying attention to the time that has passed, I couldn’t realize how precious life can be.
Even more so, and in the difference of the moment, where I stand with friends you made since parting ways.
Standing– remembering the days of old.
Standing– before the time comes to carry the casket where you lie.
Standing– as all these thoughts race through my mind.
If I could only fathom that your time on earth would have been so short, would we have drifted as we did?
Old friend, always in my mind next to questions as meticulous as these.
I wonder how things could have been different.
Despite my wandering mind, forever, and always you will be considered along with the best.
With all I could muster, old friend:
“Farewell, take care, so long.”
~G.K. August 17, 2011.
At 23, an old friend took his own life. There was a lot ambiguity surrounding his passing.
And though losing touch with this friend over the years, it was a death that struck a very funny chord with me.
23 years young myself, my own momentum shifted. I suddenly didn’t feel so “untouchable” anymore.
“Could I be life’s next?” I thought,
“Instantly dropping out, with no ‘apparent’ reasoning at all?”
What was I to do, but write.
This written expression dates back to August 17, 2011– 3 months after the fact.
It was written in an attempt to make sense of what had happened.
Perhaps, a subconscious attempt to “debrief” this seemingly reasonless, yet very mysterious departure.