IN CONTINUATION FROM: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE AND EVERYDAY, TALES FROM THE WALK BEHIND ME, NO.13
For wherever you are reading this thing, happy, happy, happy days. Well, that was random, even for me. But truly, I wish you well, and that is it more, or less.
The recent events in my life are fairly interesting, which brings me to note on two things that I will briefly list —for the sake of my memory— prior to explaining them.
- When faced with indecision, or the fork in the road, life will present specific circumstances beyond your intervention that ultimately forces your participation into action.
- A theme that always seems to surface: less is more.
The Fork In The Road
If you have been following my story over the last blog post, I divulged the back story on how my girlfriend and I are about to welcome our first child into this crazy –yet beautifully marvelous— world.
Over the past 1.5 years we have found ourselves in northern England living in a beautiful and cozy flat overlooking the countryside.
For the short time to call this place home, we have been happy here.
Good Ole Canadia
As a Canadian, I have been spoiled by the beautiful Canadian landscape to call my backyard. As a result, I have such a deep love, appreciation, and forever incessant yearning for nature, and the vast emptiness of the great outdoors.
England, and the UK for that matter, is a significantly smaller landmass. A big island, really, it’s landmass is smaller than most Canadian provinces on an individual comparison.
Taking into consideration that Newfoundland and Labrador is approximately 405,720 km2, it makes up just over 4% of the total Canadian landmass. On the other hand, the United Kingdom is approximately 242,495 km2, but of course, it is considerably less remote, and much more densely populated. 270 people per km2 vs 1.4 people per km2 (4.2 people per km2 representing Canada as a whole).
The numbers are pretty wild, with an overall landmass of approximately 9,093,507 km2, Canada is 97% larger than the UK. However, Canada’s overall population is nearly 60% smaller, and it’s population density is 98.5% less per square kilometer.
Putting the number crunch aside, the UK has some beautiful country. There are so many picturesque corners, splendid viewpoints, serene country sides and hilltops, and countless winding country roads.
It’s quite extraordinary, but I also do feel that the opportunity for the purchase of land, with some good acreage, and a house with a view is a lot trickier to come by here in England.
That has been my perspective thus far. But to clarify, it’s not that you can’t find these things, rather, the cost is a little bit more than a pretty penny to find what you’re looking for on that scale.
Full Of Shite.
Maybe I’m talking shit, I don’t know. I haven’t been here long enough to know the ins and outs whole heartedly. Regardless, this is the long way to tell you that our current flat sits on the top floor of the building, the view is great, the trails are right in my backyard, and it gives us comfort and peace of mind.
With that off my chest, the bigger picture of things reveals something different. Personally, I do not want to live in a flat, or a building for the matter in the long term. Rather, I’d love to have a small dwelling on a plot of land, with some acreage to it, however that looks. The future possibility of that being a reality for myself, and many individuals is seemingly up to debate, and another story altogether.
To avoid any further pessimism, we have been discussing moving out of the flat to accommodate the birth of the child. The benefits being to ease logistical and financial issues that we are currently facing.
Seeing as I am the only one who drives, our flat is inconveniently too far for our personal liking and time management, and such it makes sense to be closer for our personal needs, and the baby’s.
Wow, I can’t keep focused today. Having slept to heavy rainfall, and waking up to a medium drizzle, I set off for a nice 8km rainy run before dropping into Starbucks to work on this post and some other projects. I’ve been here for a few hours already, and I’m pressed for timing trying to beat a dying computer battery before setting off to the gym prior to closing.
Time, and Time Again.
If I may bring us back on track in our discussion to move, our main objection and barrier to moving —at least from my girlfriends point of view— is that “WE LOVE THIS PLACE”.
Again, we do love the flat, but I on the other hand, am more or less… a dog. What I mean, is that you can put me anywhere, and I’ll be more or less content.
My life has always been outside of the home. Naturally, my only request to find something suitable going forward together, is that our home must have two things: an outdoor space or garden, and a spare room designated to study or work.
So without trying to point fingers, but to point fingers anyway, my girlfriend is a little bit – a lot more— particular and selective when it comes to these matters. My criteria for a suitable home is a lot simpler to satisfy than hers. And it shows, because I have found 30 out of 31 listings for let that are suitable homes to potentially move into. In comparison, she has found 3 of those 31 listings for let to be suitable. By her standards, the rest of the listings are unquestionable, and condemned to even speak of.
The dilemma continues in our search as we have been discussing it:
- Do we stay in the flat that we love so much?
- It’s inconvenient because it’s on the top floor, which is a carry on for the pram/stroller.
- It is logistically inconvenient as it is significantly further from local shops, meaning that it would be much more difficult to manage our time.
- It is smaller than we’d like, and it is fairly more expensive.
- Do we move house, and where to?
- With inflation, and the global cost of living crisis, we may end up paying more for less than what we have now —potentially.
- We could be close to shops, within walking distance.
- We would reside on the ground level, and closer to family.
- The move would be more budget friendly in other ways in cutting down commuting time, and money for utilities and amenities.
- The drawback would be, that we would have less views, and more confined— relative to the general area.
This has been the discussion regarding the choices to make, and let me tell you now, the indecision is through the roof.
Life Throws You Curveballs
What’s funny is how we are at crossroads with ourselves, debating over which opportunity is best. The irony is that our indecision leads to procrastination, and ultimately inaction, which does nothing but waste our time, and expend our efforts.
But that is when life intervenes with its own plans and ideas. As if it knows you are quarrelling with yourself on which choice is best, which it then presents you with choices that you absolutely must make.
It does so by backing you into corners, all while telling you to jump, one way or the other.
Faced with both a lack of listings up for let, and the ongoing indecision to make a choice, our landlord spurs up on the phone one nights asking to meet.
“Well, this is interesting. Whatever could it be that she would like to meet about?”
Upon meeting the following day, she revealed her plans to sell the property, and wanted to discuss my girlfriend and I as prospective buyers. Likewise, if we were not going to be purchasers of the flat, well, we would have to move out upon completion of the sale.
Our dilemma now changed ever so slightly.
- Do we move house, and where to?
- Do we buy the flat that we like so much?
How interesting, isn’t it?
In our earlier discussions for rent, we have been discussing buying property as well. The most ideal scenario would be to become homeowners, as it would satisfy several different concerns.
Naturally however, purchasing a home comes with another set of questions for us to debate over.
Finances are the main culprit here. Seeing as you must have a deposit for down payment that isn’t coming from a loan or credit, it is a little trickier to get onto the property ladder here in the UK than it is in Canada.
Likewise, regarding the pandemic over the past few years, and the worsening global events in general since then, our finances —my finances in particular— have been stretched beyond thin.
Shit happens, and the storm must be weathered when facing uncertainty. In the thick of things, we must aim to ensure our very survival with direct action, hope, and faith. We must do so without succumbing to the overwhelming nature of our emotions. The most we can do in our attempt to save ourselves then, is to try. Without any effort to do so, we are most certainly lost.Make It Stick, Write It Down.
But The Question Still Remains
Do we make an attempt to buy the flat— flat out— to find the options to make it possible despite the barriers. Or do we make the move out for the aforementioned reasons above, to look to another place for rent to call home.
Well, given our discussion we have decided to move into another property instead of trying to push down the path to buy out the flat.
A big decision that locks you in should never be rushed into for the lure it provides. To keep it short, the dangling carrot in front of you isn’t necessarily the best thing to pursue, as good and tasty as it looks, it may only exhaust you in your attempts to seize the attraction.
Inevitably, it will become one of those lessons to learn the hard way.
To complete the moral, we may be considering our options upon finding ourselves at the crossroad—which way do we go? We find ourselves in the trap of indecision, as we start to overanalyze our options, avoiding making any choice in an attempt to avoid making the wrong choice altogether.
The clock has elapsed, the time to choose your path is now.
It is in the pivotal moments like this, where life assumes the role of an active bystander watching the struggle of the mind unfold. Call life God, universe, source, spirit— call it whatever— It looks you up and down to say:
“What are you doing?! Just make a damn choice!”
As the indecision continues, life get’s fed up. And as such presents you with new information, or alternative circumstances to consider that forces your hand into action; to choose one way over the other.
It’s all very interesting really.
As for me in my current life perspective and experience, I can appreciate and feel grateful for having the scope to see that process unfolding as it does. Taking that approach helps me be more patient, as things will unfold and flow towards one end or another.
As bad as indecision is, taking forced actions will also yield forced results. Therefore whatever choices we take, we must become active participators and active listeners to recognize the feedback in our decisions, to navigate ourselves effectively going forward; to adapt, or to change with our best interests in mind.
When Life Takes You Out To The Edge, It’s Up To You To Jump Out With Faith That You Will Be Caught.
Let’s move on!
The following is the final post and Number 14 of 14 in the series of blog posts called “Tales From The Walk Behind Me”.
If you’re new to these, it is a series of originally journaled entries through a few of my days —events, experiences, thoughts— along the Camino De Santiago.
If you missed part one, here it is — Click Me!
This was my second Camino that took place over 26 days through September to October, 2019 that covered 1010+km along the Camino Norte route, including Muxia-Finisterre.
This is my standard cut and paste disclaimer from the tale before, I will give you the bit of warning because it might not be what you expect– my thoughts can be ugly because I’m a weirdo.
Furthermore, the content will vary, and the timelines will be all over the place because my mind loves a wild goose chase.
You also may question my own benevolence as a human being.
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