“I don’t WANT to huff and puff, But, I NEED to huff and puff!”
We are hilarious, because we love to live in delusion.
Listen, I am all for positive thinking— but not at the expense of ignoring negative thought and emotion.
We hear it often:
“Build on yourself”
“Build on your optimism”
“Build on your greetings and smiles”
“Build on your openness”
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK!
It is in fact great advice, and advice I fully try to commit to within myself and others. However, I feel that we become easily clouded by such advice as we can become so fixated on positivity and optimism, and feeling good ALL OF THE TIME– that we don’t know what to thoughtfully do with our negative emotions.
YES, I ALSO AGREE:
“It is a muscle, destroy your self-doubt, destroy your fears, destroy these emotions in order to liberate yourself from them”
I get it– but, we still have to experience and feel the fear, sadness, hurt, pain, or whatever the hell else in order to recognize it in that.
Succeeding these emotions comes from that–RECOGNITION. The ability to recognize destructive patterns, while FULLY feeling and experiencing them.
Yes, it is also true…
“I don’t WANT to huff and puff”
But, I NEED to huff and puff!
If I don’t let my body experience and express itself negatively, there is no wonder where all that negative energy will go… “Nowhere”
Nowhere— as it will stay trapped and EMOTIONALLY bound within the structures and tissues of the body— in which case, it can manifest itself in different ways.
Though most probably a re-enactment, and a tad corny for my personal liking, the message to take away is this:
His stuttering and stammering is a result of blocking out the initial negative emotions. And only until they are addressed– YEARS LATER — he can finally overcome the barriers of his own torment.
I am sure this is an extreme example, but the trick is positively empowering yourself through your negative emotions.
What the F**k does that mean?!
It means FEEL your shit out!
All of it!
All of the nitty-gritty shitty feeling bullshit!
All that painful shit.
Feel the f**k out of it!
Feel it in flow with your energy, and then diffuse it in a positive and constructive manner.
Behind closed doors
Personally, I get so bound up and angry for whatever reason that is often very unclear.
And yes, these emotions become overwhelming enough to the point where I emotionally FEEL the need to physically lash out and slap the first person who looks at me funny!
Thankfully, I recognize that these tensions are within myself and often secondary to what I need to address.
But, I also need to diffuse them through myself, and NOT by taking action in slapping a random stranger who happened to stare into my insecurities in the first place.
So what is the trick here?
I still need to address the EMOTIONAL NEED to express myself PHYSICALLY as a result of the moment.
Well, swing a damn bat! … Or a prop of some sort to PHYSICALLY live out your frustrations by swinging it wildly through the air!
… Sounds crazy and weird, right???
Yea, definitely! But we are ALL crazy and weird and we ALL need to express that wholefully.
In Judging Others… A “tamer” example.
Most of us have been taught or heard with repetition:
“YOU BE NICE, YOU HEAR!”
“What goes around, comes around!”
“Be grateful to yourself and others!”
Again… It is great advice, and I purposely try to practice it often.
However, there are days where someone may happen to stumble into my life where everything about this person completely repulses me.
Growing up with the “You be nice!” ideology, I actively try to find good qualities in this person, or humble down their “unlikable” qualities.
But in trying to treat them in kind, there is so much more tension than just accepting my initial emotional response and rolling with the fact that I hate everything about them…
Look man, I hate your f**king face, and your stupid mannerisms! Get the f**k away from me-- you stupid douche asshole!
When I do happen to recognize these emotions, I still try to take the same “baseball bat” approach.
"Littermature Post: "Without Balls..." "Littermature Post: "Duking The Demon..." Where I noticed the value of said "Baseball Bat approach"! Or "F*ck Mindfullness: Fake it till you make it!..." How mindfulness sometimes defeat itself.
Constructive diffusion is key!
So I try to practice saying what I really FEEL like saying– just in my head.
Sounds crazier, and more dysfunctional… I thought this was a tame example?
Yeah– it is crazy and weird, and I am dysfunctional as f**k! But again, WE ALL have our own unique dysfunctions.
So try it! It might actually make you happier by bringing a smile/chuckle to your face, in which case you are now experiencing a moment of happiness..
The offending qualities may now be somehow more tolerable.
From a firm:
“You sh**y f**k!”
To a mere:
“Bro, you suck…”
I am no master at diffusing my emotions, and it isn’t a cure-all be all to your emotional pitfalls– but it is a practice.
Get creative in your own practice. To thwart the creative bullshit your mind is busy conjuring up to try to thwart your happiness.
Practice cleaning out the gunk and sh*t from your soul!
Practice it often!
Let yourself feel your own sh*t, and feel that sh*t wholefully.
The power behind this negativity, is learning how to sort through yourself when you are down, so you can relish on the high of feeling high when the cycle is over.
In practicing the optimistic diffusion– THROUGH the pessimism and gloom, and never suppressing it,
Self Help Journaling (pdf/mp3)
Make It Stick, Write It Down. A Journaled Philosophy. Ebook/Audiobook