“I’m Lost” – Chasing uncertainty, Breathing through insecurity, and the Road Less Travelled


Travelling the road less travelled brings with it a high degree of uncertainty, and without certainty, it’s a pretty good bet to call it lost.

Lost and Found

I am lost in a world of madness. A world that is non-sensical. I feel that I do not know what I am striving for, or what exactly needs to be done on my part, to fulfill my “mission” here. In other words, I am trying to find genuine meaning in my life.

I am lost.

I get seriously pissed off when someone says that to me. Though I humbly admit to it– right here right now :X — It is implied on a totally different level when it is stated from somebody else’s lips.

You’re Lost!” they say…

Well what are you? Are you found then?! Do you know what you are doing, are you even aware as to why you act in light of your foundness… Furthermore, is your behavioural foundness a truly genuine?

It bothers me how so many people can come down on others, as they are judging this social disorientation from a highly fixed and superficial place.

The typical context of the socially fixed perception:

We are lost when we are not following the beat of the social drum in which
we came from.

Basically I am lost– among many others, because of choosing do things in alternative fashion. Travelling the road less travelled brings with it a high degree of uncertainty, and without certainty, it is justifiable to call it lost. When other’s can’t identify with the path you have chosen, it is easy to feel disdain for it.

It is funny to note how so many people can spend a lifetime avoiding complicated thoughts, or avoid the scariness associated with their own immeasurable search for meaning. It is easy to shy away and simply fill time with meaningless things.

The road well-travelled... at least where I am from:
birth-> school-> more school-> good job-> marriage/kids-> retire in everlasting happiness...

Life is over before it even started, turn your brain off.

This avoidance/distraction routine is cycled endlessly for many as they plan for retirement. Or if they make enough money to fill their material  needs before then, this financial freedom fast tracks the eventual thinking process. In any case, it is easy to look for distractions in order to avoid some of the more complicated thoughts rummaging around in our heads.

I know, I know– live in the moment. I do–rather, I try to. I try to practice this often– awareness is key after all. I truly believe it, but we can’t avoid the living contradiction that we are immersed in.

For myself:
Living the moment isn't following the automated pulse of society. And it
definitely isn't strolling over to your typical beer and wings joint to pig
out on beer and wings as you zombie out in front of 5 big screen tv's
pumping out different sports highlights/over-jargoned shows/recycled and
biased news clippings.

I'm not saying that it's a miserable time. In fact many people live and
breathe it, as it can be quite delightful. I am more than guilty in its
participation. However, it's a big distraction, and one that is ultimately
unfulfilling... for ME.

It is so easy to get pulled back into a distracted lifestyle. Society is a living and breathing entity that produces A LOT of noise, loud enough to drown out your internal voice.

So what is all the noise distracting me from?


Real life to me is listening to my internal voice. It is listening to, and challenging what society tells us is right, or wrong. It is challenging, what society tells us is possible, or impossible. It is challenging what we are implied to follow, and how we are implied to live. And in this respect, meaning comes naturally.

An interesting look

Society, and all that what we see in our modern world can be perceived as art. Society is a piece of art, in the sense that it has been created– and created by man.

It is real, because we can see its infrastructures, it exists because we can live it, and we can feel it. However, it is really just another perception. And really, a constructed piece of interactive art, society is comparable to our own attempts in creating a virtual reality.

1. the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, **(enough said here)**
typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works
to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.
"the art of the Renaissance"

2. the various branches of creative activity **(here as well),
such as painting, music, literature, and dance.
"the visual arts"
**Thanks Google

We see virtual reality as not really real. We don’t perceive it in such a manner because we can physically see AND feel the apparatus that WE have created that allows us to experience this created reality– at least as of right now **[cue TOTAL RECALL vhs]**

In this sense, we are outside of it– physically– and looking in. We can see the wires so to speak. Society, on the other hand is the apparatus that we have created. But we can’t see the wires, we can’t feel the apparatus, and we are not on the outside looking in. On the contrary, we are very much inside of it, and looking out. In this sense, it is hard to look at things in the manners of our own creation, because it has taken on a life of its own.

Quite the tangent, and easily an interesting piece of perspective on its own.

Whoa– back up bro.

What am I getting at here…

I said how being lost can leave you in scrutiny, and how many can look down their nose at you in accusation, allotting their life paths/life choices to yours. This life that has been created in modernity does not mean that it is the only way to go. It is very much just another perception on how to spend a lifetime.

No one knows what they are doing in the grand scheme of things, and in temporary existence within this temporary plane, a meaningful life is highly subjective. And for me, this is all the more reason to go against the grain.

Where my conflict comes from:

Being influenced by the VERY influential standardized experience


Drowning out society's noise and persistently keeping to my own
internal voice.

Society gives off A LOT of noise, which can make it VERY difficult to pinpoint your personal calling. It is important to heed the instinctual nature of our gut, as it is the most valuable tool in recognizing our evolution towards a meaningful life.

I'm sorry to be such a cynical ass, but I can't shake my feelings:

Many people who claim not to be lost, have only really found society.
And it is loud enough to keep them occupied in delusion as a genuine

**User experience may vary**

Personally, I would rather avoid the distraction of toys and materials that we have created for ourselves. I want to face the difficult questions now, and keep asking them in order to learn, feel, and grow within our selves, within our nature, and within our faith. To grow ourselves fully, without be consumed by our consuming, to search beyond the endless chatter, to produce a living that is intrinsically produced, not extrinsically influenced.

Don’t play the game if you don’t want to!


If you can’t beat them, join them!

With confusion,


Self Help Journaling

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