The Real Me, A Social Experience: Social Roles and How We Interpret Individuality Behind The Smoke and Mirrors.

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The real me is the one you can’t see. If I told you what I was, would you believe me? You might as well SMILE, because I can see through you.

-G.K, Original.

It’s a vicious psychosocial cycle, but the best we can do is to practice SEEING people outside of HOW we see people.

Life is funny.

Some days are better than others where I often wonder if I am the only one who walks around feeling out place everywhere.

As if unconsciously immersed in an innocent little girl’s game of ‘house’.

^... The Matrix redone?

Just another doll all dressed up, on its way out the door and into the world– Puppet-ly dolling about through the scenes, making decisions that seem impulsive in moments, and intricately thought out in others.– “Where to next?… Time to feed the pet”

What is it with the routine of real life role-playing?

It is an interesting self experiment to go out into the world to actively observe yourself and others in their daily roles. Try to see or put a guess on what other things you think represent a person based on the initial role you identified them with.

A simple example:

[action] You go into a coffee shop where a barista serves you coffee.

[thought] "She must like coffee A LOT."

or perhaps a very crude example:

[action] You go into a coffee shop where a barista serves you coffee.

[thought] "She has no REAL ambitions in life, stuck here working for minimum wage"...

Try to bring awareness to your initial thoughts and then try to find alternative perspectives within their role.


"Maybe she works here because...

she really loves tea; -- you know, that other coffee;

she simply love's that coffee shop smell -- an aromatic aficionado;

she really enjoys people facing -- an extrovert;

she needs an energetic environment to fuel her own energy -- energy dependant;

she's working to supplement her another income -- workaholic?;

she doesn't really need to work, but she's working anyway to fill her time as joyously as she could-- retired, well off, simpler priorities in life?;

maybe she owns the place -- she's the boss;


Take it one step further, and try to place them outside of their current role, based on what you think you perceive about this person.

Here it can get very creative with a judgement that can be either spot on, or way, WAY OFF.

"She [current role description]... Therefore... She must/must be [alternative action/role]...

Regardless of your own judgements, take notice how all of your thoughts are potentially viable possibilities for this person. And for a brief moment, all of these subjective thoughts truly exist– at least within the realm of your mind.

^... Mr. Nobody anybody?

If you want to critique your accuracy go ahead and ask the person something along the lines of where your thoughts brought you. And given their answers, you will fit them into new roles where your thoughts will repeat the same patterns– alternatively creating a new sequence of thoughts to define that person.

Take notice of my own examples.
Based on my own preconceived notions, I automatically assume a female into the role-- despite their being no shortage of male baristas in the world.
I am no sexist-- but sorry ladies, it's just where my brain autonomously brought me relative to the barista.

What’s the point?

Our brain likes to form these judgements of people. And within this cranial scrutiny, society solidifies our judgements relative to the roles we see in others, and the roles we find ourselves in.

As soon as you label it as BEING whatever it is that you see it as,
You limit it to NOTHING MORE than what you see it as.
--Loosely quoted, Soren Kierkegaard

Given the very strong associations/interactions between our sensory inputs and the roles we encounter in our social experiences, it becomes very difficult to break away/pin-point something, or someone as anything other than what you initially set it out to be. — It sucks, but it is what it is because this is how our brains are socially conditioned.

With whatever you do for a living, chances are that most people will never see you as anything more outside of that.

You will always be:

[Insert name]...

the white-collar banker;

the blue-collar mechanic;

the green-collar forest ranger;

the collarless starving artist;

In all of this, it is my personal preference to be a jack of all trades in hopes of assuming a limitless roles– And yet even in this, I am limited.

I am limited as a haphazard worker— one who spreads himself into many things, yet masters none of it. And though I could potentially find a professional level of mastery in ALL of the projects I undertake, it would be irrelevant at face value, or until someone singles me into a specific role within my jack of all trades-hood.

At face value, I can be defined...
... As a haphazard worker.
... Or In the moment of my own service, I am singled out as a:
Delivery driver;
Fitness enthusiast;

"I'm like a jack of all trades, who's a master of none."
--The Grand Optimist, City and Colour

It’s a vicious psychosocial cycle, but the best we can do is to practice SEEING people outside of HOW we see people.

Life is funny.

With Love,


Self Help Journaling (pdf/mp3)

Make It Stick, Write It Down. A Journaled Philosophy. Ebook/Audiobook
Click HERE

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